Last summer our sons and their families (4 adults and 13 kids) vacationed together on the other side of the world.
Our older son lives on the other side of the world so for him this meant a taxi ride of only a few hours to get to the resort.
For our younger son, who lives in the States, this meant a very long airplane ride followed by several long hours in a taxi.
My husband and I were so thrilled that our sons and their families had such a great time together that we let them convince us to join them this year
Last year they stayed at the resort for an entire week so I assumed that would be the plan this year.
Last week Chaim, our younger son, called us complaining about his older brother, “If Zalman’s not going to stay the whole week, why should we bother going at all?”
This was supposed to be a fun time for all of us. I didn’t want to be dragged into an argument.
“I hope you don’t feel we’re forcing you into this,” I said.
“You’re not,” Chaim said.
“The last time I checked you told me you had such a good time that you couldn’t wait to go back again. Right?”
“That’s true.”
“Zalman has his family and you have yours. They decide how to spend their time without asking us just like you do.”
“I guess you’re right,” he said, sounding as if he understood.
Later that day, I remembered a conversation I had with Zalman when he and Chaim were planning last summer’s vacation. I recalled Zalman telling me that he and his family probably weren’t going to stay for the whole week, but as it turned out, they changed their minds and did stay the entire time.
What can you learn from this?
I could have wasted my time arguing with either or both of my sons but past experience convinced me not to bother.
There are 6 important takeaways for you to learn about interpersonal relationships that will help you with family and friends and at work.
- You need to pick your battles.
- Not everyone does things the way you want.
- Don’t get stuck in the middle. You won’t win.
- Don’t get stuck in a rut. Why not try a new approach to a situation?
- Instead of always doing thigs the same way, why not try something new.
- Family and friends are part of who you are. Life is too short to lose the connection.
Only my very best,
BJ